talkswithwind: (Confused)
First sea-water taste: Age 10, in Maine.
Second sea-water taste: Age 22, in Florida.
Third sea-water taste: Age 32, in Hawaii.

Some of us don't live near the Ocean.

Some of us don't live near enough to even go there on vacation very often.

I still have no memory of what sea-water tastes like, other than that Hawaii trip where I remember thinking, "Huh, I've been under-salting," but didn't cement it well enough to be able to figure out by how much.

talkswithwind: (cm-saywhat)
Watched it. I have thoughts.

It's all about love. )
talkswithwind: (cm-saywhat)
I've been reading some of it. Right now it's a lot of retweets, but the content is still quite striking.

I'm coming at it from a decidedly privileged point of view, as I've lived both sides of the gender coin and have benefited-from/been-subjected-to the assumptions and trials of both those sides. When it comes to women's lived experience I have a hard time speaking up because I haven't done it all my life. If I speak up am I denying the experience of someone more worthy? It's qualms like that which have kept me quiet about difficulties I've faced in adjusting to a different set of gendered assumptions.

Some of my problems absolutely stem from me only running into these things late in life and not from birth or sexual maturity. That's part of the trans experience after all, and some people are quite sensitive when I do talk about that kind of thing. I've never been sexually harassed that I can remember, which makes me a minority (or oblivious, which likely contributes).

But I have been perceived as female for long enough that I do share certain common experiences:
  • Street harassment.
    • Smile, baby.
    • Whistles.
    • When smiling: compliments on the smile.
  • Dealing with cold approaches. Also known as getting hit on.
  • Learning the hard way which groups of men are more threatening than others.
  • Getting side-eye at my prospective local comic store. The guy warmed up after he realized I actually was into this stuff. And is now gone.
  • Getting bright-eyed eagerness in the men talking to me once they realize I actually know this nerdy-linux-stuff thing.
And then there are the unshared experiences that are definitely inherited from being raised male:
  • The assumption that I can fuck anyone up who tries to fuck with me. Which means I'm not appropriately afraid to walk certain places alone.
  • Asking for things as the first step to getting what I want. Worked great so far, eventually I'll get labeled 'bitch' because of it.
  • The big fear for leaving a drink untended is germs from unauthorized sippers. At some point the GHB fear will penetrate.
There are more.

Reading this hashtag is a reminder of all the things I didn't get taught at my mother's knee and learned after the fact (if I even learned it at all).

Reading this hashtag is a reminder of what happens to anyone who is ever perceived as female.

talkswithwind: Carol Danvers (Captain Marvel) getting her zappy-zappy on (CarolZap)
I've mentioned several times that I started questioning my gender identity in the wake of realizing I wasn't straight. There were a couple weeks of deep introspection after that realization, and it was during that introspection that I noticed something in my attractiveness reactions.

When having OMG-Hot reactions towards girls, there was a frisson of something at the end. My introspection revealed that the frisson was ennui over not being able to match that level of hotness.

Hm, interesting. Maybe... I'm not all male? Does my attraction to boys possibly stem from that female part of me? Must think on this.
22 years later, and I have the answers to that:


In which I go into some detail about gender identity, sexual desire, and other questionable topics )
talkswithwind: (autumn)
FandomAsh -- Malinda Lo
TagsF/F, Gen

Summary: Kaisa spent most of a summer teaching Ash how to ride a Hunter and other things. This is one of those days.


A Summer Day )


Oh Internet, my TVTropeFu has failed. What is the TVTrope name for this trope?
The Protag couple breaks up in a huff when one member sees the other member do something that (incorrectly) makes them think they're being cheated on.

You know the scene. Member and Evil person are talking and in the one moment when they're embracing, while Evil whispers Evil Things, the other couple member just happens to walk by the partially open door. Cue DUN DUN DUNNNNN music, dour look on OtherMember, and 20 minutes of Horrible Mistake with inevitable make-up.

It's freaking everywhere, and is probably one of the primal tropes. I just don't know what the canon name for it is.

talkswithwind: (cm-saywhat)
So we got the Liam story.

Spoilers, what? )



June 2014



RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Active Entries

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Dec. 22nd, 2014 02:10 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios